.....you had left me destroyed and suffering, but here I am now, rising from the depth of all that misery you drowned me in, and in the end, I believe I have won. For I don't see you happy, and I'm not sure to be happy or sad about that but perhaps its meant to be. I gave you everything and in return you tore me apart in ways you could never imagine, but I am recovering now and what I have now is better and healthier. I will never be able to forget you as much as I may like to but you are the past and I cannot be in your life anymore. We are finished completely. I'm sorry. I didn't deserve it; I cannot trust someone who hurt me so much.
I love you Nick and words cannot explain how amazing you make me feel. For never have I felt the way I am with you. You have proved my thoughts on certain people/things wrong and now I feel like a better person. I will always be here for you as long as we are together and I will help you get through everything.
perhaps I shouldnt be posting this but whatever, perhaps its lame to say this on livejournal but whatever, I need to get it out.